I have seen a lot of posts on suicide, and it makes me wonder- is life hard enough that death would be easier? I know I have to fix things by myself…. where is my peace? When can I be happy? Sometimes I wish death was not permanent, like you could die a little while then come back
Yeah, no. Right now I have something stupid playing on tv. Even though my windows are open, I am doing the best I can to block out whatever’s playing in my mind. I don’t understand why I am so depressed.
Actually, I do. After the things that happened to me four years ago (still cant talk about it) all the crap I have been through since, it’s no wonder I feel this way.
Oh, I fake it all the time. I’m “happy”, everything’s “great” and there’s no reason to be sad…. But I’m expert. I am great at hiding. Most days I want to stay in bed all day. I always wonder why people don’t want to be around me. I can’t stand being around myself. and the few friends that I do have, I always secretly wonder if they are just humoring me….they probably are.
As far as everyone knows, I am “progressing”. So why do I CONTINUOUSLY feel as if all I want to do is cry?
I’ve been busy, tired, lonely depressed; crying, sleeping sighing a mess
sorry havent been here or there much
So it was my birthday. A new year for me…. a fresh start. I hope I can stay positive and not let my past demons define my present or my future.